11.5.12

my trip can be summed up in two little words

good food.












Okay, okay, there are a million other words that I could use to describe this trip, so really this is just a start. But boy is it a good start. 

And don't worry, I did take pictures of other things. 
But only a few.


love,
your "going through amazing food withdrawals" foody,
M

27.4.12

real

last night I stepped out for a run under the Georgian sky (as in the state not the country).

I thought about how last week I graduated and then stepped on a plane and that I'll take five more before my feet return to Utah. I thought about how in a matter of months I will live in a new place, go to a new school, and be on a new path. I thought about how next summer I could be running under the Georgian sky (as in the country not the state). Does any of this feel real? Not really.



Graduated. What does that word even mean? Nothing to me yet other than some abstract idea. But I realized that so many big events in life change us in so many ways, and yet we remain the same. I graduated from college, but do I feel any different? not really.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that those five other planes will take me here, here, here, and here?

Not to rub it in or anything.

8.4.12

all that matters

The Garden Tomb


 And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives! For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.
D&C 76:22–24


With the abundance of testimony, both ancient and modern, sealed by the witness of the Holy Spirit of God, we stand firm and unequivocating in our knowledge that Jesus of Nazareth is the resurrected Savior. His arms are stretched forth to all men, who, by accepting Him in His appointed way, may become not just believers but true disciples and with Paul hope to “obtain a better resurrection.” (Heb. 11:35.)
President James E. Faust
"The Resurrection" Ensign, May 1985
 

wonderful to me

The Garden Tomb

I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?
John 11:25–26

“Our Savior lived again. The most glorious, comforting, and reassuring of all events of human history had taken place—the victory over death. The pain and agony of Gethsemane and Calvary had been wiped away. The salvation of mankind had been secured. The Fall of Adam had been reclaimed. The empty tomb that first Easter morning was the answer to Job’s question, ‘If a man die, shall he live again?’ To all within the sound of my voice, I declare, If a man die, he shall live again. We know, for we have the light of revealed truth. … My beloved brothers and sisters, in our hour of deepest sorrow, we can receive profound peace from the words of the angel that first Easter morning: ‘He is not here: for he is risen.’”
-President Thomas S. Monson
"He is Risen-a Prophet's Testimony" Ensign, April 2012

6.4.12

Christ shall guide me through the gloom

Golgotha

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:3–5


             With all the conviction of my soul I testify that He did please His Father perfectly and that a perfect Father did not forsake His Son in that hour. Indeed, it is my personal belief that in all of Christ’s mortal ministry the Father may never have been closer to His Son than in these agonizing final moments of suffering. Nevertheless, that the supreme sacrifice of His Son might be as complete as it was voluntary and solitary, the Father briefly withdrew from Jesus the comfort of His Spirit, the support of His personal presence. It was required, indeed it was central to the significance of the Atonement, that this perfect Son who had never spoken ill nor done wrong nor touched an unclean thing had to know how the rest of humankind—us, all of us—would feel when we did commit such sins. For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone.
              Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].”
               My other plea at Easter time is that these scenes of Christ’s lonely sacrifice, laced with moments of denial and abandonment and, at least once, outright betrayal, must never be reenacted by us. He has walked alone once. Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosa in our present day. As we approach this holy week—Passover Thursday with its Paschal Lamb, atoning Friday with its cross, Resurrection Sunday with its empty tomb—may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,” for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone. 
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
"None Were with Him" Ensign, May 2009

5.4.12

no other good enough

Olive Press


God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life
John 3:16

"Jesus and His Atonement represent the most profound expression of Heavenly Father's love for His children. How important the free gift of the Resurrection is for all mankind, and the proffer of the greatest gift which even God can give--eternal life for those willing to so live and to so qualify"
-Elder Neal A. Maxwell
"Testifying of the Great and Glorious Atonement," Ensign, Oct 2001

the press

Olive Press

 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;
But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I. Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.
D&C 19:16-19

         "I feel, and the Spirit seems to accord, that the most important doctrine I can declare, and the most powerful testimony I can bear, is of the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ.
His Atonement is the most transcendent event that ever has or ever will occur from Creation’s dawn through all the ages of a never-ending eternity. It is the supreme act of goodness and grace that only a god could perform. Through it, all of the terms and conditions of the Father’s eternal plan of salvation became operative. Through it are brought to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. Through it, all men are saved from death, hell, the devil, and endless torment. And through it, all who believe and obey the glorious gospel of God, all who are true and faithful and overcome the world, all who suffer for Christ and His word, all who are chastened and scourged in the cause of Him whose we are—all shall become as their Maker and sit with Him on His throne and reign with Him forever in everlasting glory[...] 
          Now, the Atonement of Christ is the most basic and fundamental doctrine of the gospel, and it is the least understood of all our revealed truths. Many of us have a superficial knowledge and rely upon the Lord and His goodness to see us through the trials and perils of life. But if we are to have faith like Enoch and Elijah, we must believe what they believed, know what they knew, and live as they lived. May I invite you to join with me in gaining a sound and sure knowledge of the Atonement. We must cast aside the philosophies of men and the wisdom of the wise and hearken to that Spirit which is given to us to guide us into all truth.We must search the scriptures, accepting them as the mind and will and voice of the Lord and the very power of God unto salvation."
-Elder Bruce R. McConkie
"The Purifying Power of Gethsemane" Ensign, May 1985 

3.4.12

in the strength of the Lord

St. Peter in Gallicantu

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.
Isaiah 61:3

"I suspect that many Church members are much more familiar with the nature of the redeeming and cleansing power of the Atonement than they are with the strengthening and enabling power. It is one thing to know that Jesus Christ came to earth to die for us—that is fundamental and foundational to the doctrine of Christ. But we also need to appreciate that the Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to live in us—not only to direct us but also to empower us."
-Elder David A. Bednar
"The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality" Liahona, April 2012

2.4.12

at one

Garden of Gethsemane

For behold, the time cometh, and is not far distant, that with power, the Lord Omnipotent who reigneth, who was, and is from all eternity to all eternity, shall come down from heaven among the children of men, and shall dwell in a tabernacle of clay, and shall go forth amongst men, working mighty miracles, such as healing the sick, raising the dead, causing the lame to walk, the blind to receive their sight, and the deaf to hear, and curing all manner of diseases.
And he shall cast out devils, or the evil spirits which dwell in the hearts of the children of men.
And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.
And he shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning; and his mother shall be called Mary.
And lo, he cometh unto his own, that salvation might come unto the children of men even through faith on his name; and even after all this they shall consider him a man, and say that he hath a devil, and shall scourge him, and shall crucify him.
10 And he shall rise the third day from the dead; and behold, he standeth to judge the world; and behold, all these things are done that a righteous judgment might come upon the children of men.
Mosiah 3:5-10


I weep for joy when I contemplate the significance of it all. To be redeemed is to be atoned—received in the close embrace of God with an expression not only of His forgiveness, but of our oneness of heart and mind. What a privilege! And what a comfort to those of us with loved ones who have already passed from our family circle through the gateway we call death!
-Elder Russell M. Nelson, 
"The Atonement" Ensign Nov 1996


14.3.12

because I'm that big of a nerd

And proud of it. Happy pi day!

11.3.12

(intro)vert

The other day while I was shelving I got distracted by an article. That's the problem, you see, with working in a library is that you want to read things. I refrained and came back after class to read the article. I was intrigued because it was about the power of being introverted, and I am an introvert.

We live in a society that was made for and rewards extroverts. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with extroverts (I actually rather like quite a few of them). I even have some extroverted qualities myself. But I do think that we value too little the qualities of introverts. Sounds cheesy, but God made people different for a reason.

The article really didn't have anything profound to say, and I already knew that I had introverted tendencies, but it really it home with me. It reminded me that it's okay that I am the way I am. There is nothing wrong with me. People too often mistake introvertism for being shy, afraid of social situations or complacent. It's none of those things (although they can accompany introverted traits). Introverted people are genuinely content to be on their own. They like to do things one-on-one with people they know well. They don't love small talk. They get over stimulated by big groups, especially big groups of people they don't know.

It's okay that I would often rather do things alone than be in a crowded room with a bunch of strangers. It's okay that I prefer one-on-one conversations or that I would much rather have a small get together with my close family and friends than a huge bash. It reminded me that there is value in those qualities. I'm contemplative and observant. I can focus and work independently. I like to talk about real things and get passed that small talk stuff. I find satisfaction and fulfillment being on my own. I even enjoy it.

Being introverted doesn't mean I hate being with people (I really like people you see), or that I'm shy, or that I'll never do crazy extroverted-like things. It doesn't mean that I shouldn't go out of my comfort zone to get to know people or do things with people even when I'd rather be alone. It's all about balance.

After reading the article I felt empowered. Over the years (and especially the last few weeks) I've come to love and accept the fact that I am an introvert. I don't need to fight against it. I think it's made me realize why I am the way I am and why I react the way I do to things, which in turn helps me to see ways to cope in this extroverted world and push myself.

I am M and I am an introvert.

contrary to popular belief

I am indeed alive.

Remember how I thought 2012 was my year? Well I think I was right. The last few weeks have been crazy--full of grad school news, big surprises, several trips being scheduled, school, work, calling, and lots of life. It seems like my whole life has been thrown into a blender and the liquify button was left on. I feel the potential, but I also feel the weight of all the "grown-up" stuff I have to deal with. It's finally hitting me: I'm graduating. And with that graduation I'll become a "real" person (as opposed to a fake one I've been this whole time). There are a lot of things that go with becoming a real person. Am I ready? I can't even change the tires on my car (despite being taught several times) or name all 44 presidents in order.

Oh bother. Still so much to learn.

M

26.1.12

confessions of a man-hater

Recently it seems that every girl I know has a boy in their life that is doing something very stupid. I've had multiple conversations with girls about the hurt all these boys have caused. The conversations inevitably end in frustration, exclamations of loathing and anger, feminist declarations, and a whole bunch of things that boys are doing wrong. And it always ends with an "I hate boys."

I'm totally guilty of adopting the man-hating persona. Throughout my life I've been told I am intimidating and scary, that I need to be nicer to boys, and that I give off this "I don't need a boyfriend" vibe. While I may come off that way (I'm working on it), it's high time I acknowledge how much I really do like them. Maybe the boys in our lives will be better because we look for the good in them and not the bad.

In my attempt at reconciliation, here is a short list of reasons why I love boys:
They see things in a more linear and simple way. Girls get lost in the dark and twisty webs of their minds. Boys offer a much needed straightforward perspective.
In general they tend to be funnier than girls. Humor is so important in life and I'm grateful for the boys in my life that make me laugh.
They push you to do more adventurous things. It's really hard to get a group of girls to go hiking. Add some boys to the mix and you'll be up in the mountains in a jiffy.
They genuinely want to fix problems. This definitely a point of contention (I just want you to listen to me; I don't want you to fix it!), but I think that it shows their love and respect for you if they want to help solve your problems.
They are strong and more physically apt than I am. Cannot tell you how many times that has come in handy.
They can hold the priesthood of God, which links us to them eternally.
Pretty much they are just really cute. (especially when they wear this. I'm totally a sucker for a man in uniform).

Boys are great. Even when they are not.

your reforming man-hater,
M




22.1.12

motion

Life has been set in motion. I feel like all these little moments and pieces of my life have been set in motion to add up to something. I don't know how they all fit together but somehow they do. I've heard several people talk about how 2012 is going to be their year. It holds promise, potential, and life. 2012 is my year too. It began with me starting my lasts at dear old BYU. It will involve several amazing trips, moving away, starting anew, belonging to a new home and (hopefully) a new school. It will mean more fun times with friends, random adventures, time to read, time to live. Each day I wake up with a sense of being on the edge of something great. Guess what? It's a great place to be. But the funny thing is, I'm not anxious for things to change. I'm learning to love this now. And I'm finding reasons to live in this moment instead of longing for the past or future. As the great C.S. Lewis wrote, "this is the eternal now." "This moment contains all moments." The first presidency message this month is about living a full life. As my home teachers taught me this inspired message, I couldn't help but feel the truth of these words:
Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities.
You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith.

And this song (as cheesy as it is) keeps coming to mind.


I hope your 2012 holds as much potential.

love love love
M

5.1.12

Newsflash: I LOVE MY MAJOR

I do I do. I love that I have professors who love love love what they are teaching and translate that into how they teach. I love that I take classes that push me to think in new ways and are not just about regurgitating information. I love that I am trusted to learn material, to take my own education seriously and not have to babysat through busywork. I love that it's not about getting an A, but about learning. I love that my professors facilitate discussion and push us to learn writing, presentation, and speaking skills.  I love that my classes are small and personal.

Oh and I love when professors say things like: "there you are on a date and then all of a sudden someone sticks you with a dirty knife" to start off a discussion on the immune system.

loving little life (still!),
M

28.12.11

to the left, to the left

I shouldn't love it as much as I do, but I do. And when I hear that someone else is, I feel an instant kinship to them. I love when people I've known forever finally notice, as if it was some special trick I've kept hidden from them. It's silly I know, but I love love love being left-handed.

Sure there are disadvantages like the perpetual stain of pencil or ink on your hand or the need to seek out certain "left-handed" desks in a classroom. Oh and then there are things like learning how to crochet–a little tricky when the person teaching you is doing everything with the opposite hand. I bet you didn't know that there are quite a few objects like bunch bowl ladles or scissors that are right-handed. I also blame my lack of coordination on being a lefty. I kick and throw with my right, but with little skill. What was I supposed to do when all the other kids were doing it with that hand? I'd like to think that if I'd learned with my left, I'd be a master (maybe).

But guess what? Being a lefty is the best.  You get special treatment. "Oh sorry, you can't sit there. I'm left-handed; I need to sit on the end." You get special items like left-handed sewing scissors. You have the advantage in sports (not that I would know about that).  Left-handed people are definitely smarter (remember this is my blog). Out of the last 14 presidents, half of them have been left-handed. Significant? I think yes.

And apparently, I would be really great at primitive fighting.


signed,
your little lefty
M

24.12.11

Jealous

Dear Charlotte Brontë,

Want to lend some of your amazing vocabulary to me? Even just for a day? I wish I could throw words around like caprice, piquant, quiescence, assiduous, celerity, or salubrious as if it was no big deal.


your devoted reader,
M


PS if you love the Brontë sisters, you'll love this.

23.12.11

what I really believe

Last week I read this article, part of a regular column Michael Otterson writes for the LDS Church. In the article Otterson relates how church members in Davis County, Utah were asked to help each other clean up debris from a storm and prepare for another one. On that Sunday church was canceled and neighbors gathered to help one another. Otterson describes this as "pure religion" and I couldn't agree more. I am so grateful that I belong to a church that is prudent and practical. Worship is vital to religion, but so is serving and helping the people around you. Acting on principles of faith, love, charity–that is what God put us on this earth together to do. I have never felt closer to people than when I am serving them.

I came home last Friday to find my roommates in the apartment next door. I turned the corner to see why they were there and my eyes met a large puddle (or puddles rather) of water down the hallway, in their kitchen, etc. And there were my roommates with buckets, towels, brooms–ready to get to work. I joined them, sweeping up water (not the most effective tactic, but it did the job). We don't know the girls across the hall as well as we should, but I'd like to think we share something now that is stronger than if we had spent 3 hours talking. I couldn't help but smile as I swept dirty water into a bucket. This is me, living what I believe.

Sunday I found myself among the Christmas books. Every year, no matter what other books I read, I have to include my two favorites at least a few times: The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree  and Why Christmas Trees Aren't Perfect. It's ironic that their titles are antitheses of each other, because they are essentially about the same thing: giving of yourself when you feel there is nothing to give. I cried as I read how Ruthie's mother, her husband away at war, cut up her wedding dress so Ruthie would have the perfect Angel's dress to wear in the Christmas pageant. I cried as I read of the Queen who saw Small Pine's true heart, that he was more beautiful than all of the other trees because of who he was, not what he looked like. I've read these books hundreds of times, but this time their messages hit me more poignantly than before. More than anything, God wants us to give of ourselves. He wants us to fall, to be vulnerable, to love. When we love others, we love Him with a love deeper and more transcendent than before.


Happy Christmas,
M

18.12.11

the agony and the ecstasy

Eat dark chocolate covered peppermint Joe Joe's and you'll never taste something so wonderful.
Eat dark chocolate covered peppermint Joe Joe's and you'll probably die.



We may or may not have gone through a box in less than 24 hours. Oh dear.


8.12.11

So I decided that

  • I should wear red lipstick and ruffles more often. Not necessarily together (although that could be a winning combination). Sometimes it's good to feel extra girly.
  • this is the reason why men at BYU are not allowed to have beards:
"Disadvantages of the N-95 masks include the difficulty in ensuring a reliable face-mask seal with each use and impossibility of effective use by bearded individuals"*
Administration just wants to make sure everyone has equal protection from ebola and other VHFs.
  • changing the topic of your research paper the day a draft is due is not a smart thing. Changing the topic of your research paper to something that you really don't know how to put into words, is not a smart thing either. However, changing the topic of your research paper to something that is way cooler than your first topic could be a good idea.
  • sometimes being too much is not being enough. 
  • home-grown potatoes (or pretty much home-grown anything) are way better than store bought.
OK. back to my paper.

M


*Borio, L, et al. "Hemorrhagic Fever Viruses as Biological Weapons." JAMA. Vol. 287: 18. May 2002: 2391-2405.