my peace with europe

"Every American who wants to know who he is must make his peace with Europe."

-Crossing to Safety, p254

two weeks. Two weeks left of my internship and three weeks left in Switzerland and I'll be leaving on a jet plane back to America.

This realization has induced a quiet, but steady thump of panic in my heart. Panic because there is still so much I want to do here. Panic because I miss home and wish I was already there. Panic because I'm going to miss here so much. Because I have so much left to learn. Because I can't wait to see or at least be in a more convenient time zone for the people I love lots and lots. Panic because I'll have to go back to eating American chocolate (this, naturally, is the cause of most of my worry).  Panic because life is picking up again and I am having to leave this quiet, safe haven Geneva has been for me to face it.

I read the above quote in my book today. The narrator was referring more to coming to understand that you are a product of so much history and art that has happened in Europe, but for me those words are personal. This time has and continues to be such a mix of emotions, such a time of reflection and realization, of newness and adventure. Here in Europe I am making peace with so many things.

I took a walk tonight around my sleepy little neighborhood, thinking about my life and my time here and my peace-making. Because my time is not yet over, I still have more to do and mull over. Thoughts are only half-formed, my peace not complete, but I am and will continue to be, so grateful for my summer in Europe.

You know you are a WHO intern when... part i

• you step onto the elevator and you have no idea what language the person speaks next to you will speak.
• the halls are lined with hundreds of publications about everything you could imagine in the health world.
• all you can think about is how great it will be when you're a big fancy public health professional and you can get your own Lancet subscription (having access through a university isn't good enough. I want that sucker to have my name on it and be delivered to my house where I can read it cover to cover like a YA vampire novel. A girl can dream). For now you just drool over the online pdfs and wish you had time to read all the articles.
• someone jokingly asks you how the who is (not the W.H.O.) and someone in the room says, "you saw The Who?! When? Where?"
• the bus becomes your best friend.
• you eat sausages in baguettes to represent hot dogs in buns for the 4th of July.

Welcome to Geneva, Introvert

I've gotten in all sorts of trouble for being so quiet around here. Oops.

Geneva. So many things to love about Geneva. Well, of course, it's beautiful here. Much of the city is modern, but some of it is the Europe of your dreams. Old buildings, green pastures, red shutters, cows with bells, chocolate (the chocolate!), cheese (the cheese!), mountains and so much more. I live in a sleepy little suburb of Geneva that could not be more beautiful. Everyday I pass the same two old women with at least 4 or 5 dogs between them. I love that saying "bonjour!" to them each morning has become a part of each of our routines.

The WHO. Getting to be surrounded by people who do meaningful work, going to lectures on things that interest me, getting to learn about so much and be a small part of such a big thing... well, it's pretty great.

I've been reading Susan Cain's book, Quiet, about introverts. As you may have noticed, introvertism is somewhat of a cause I've taken up. But really everyone should read the book. Because if you aren't an introvert, you know one. So much of what she talks about in the book deeply resonated with me.  It's pushed me to examine a lot of my personality traits, approach situations differently, and love some of those things about myself that kind of make me a hermit sometimes.

So with that frame of mind, I've been thinking a lot about my time here. About diving into the thick of things, about exploring, about preparation and caution, about making friends and connections, about reading at lunch or sitting by someone new, about being true to yourself, about finding balance. I wish I could articulate my thoughts here the way I want to, but for reason I just can't quite yet. Maybe someday.

love from Switzerland,
M