this fall

It's ironic that the season that means the world around is dying, that the cold is coming on, that dark days and grey skies will invite themselves to stay could be so beautiful and could ignite such promise of renewal, change, and hope within me. And while I feel such stirrings in spring, autumn seems to speak to my heart in a way those green little buds sprouting up never can.

Maybe fall is made more sweet because there are dark, cold days ahead.

love letters to DC

Dear DC,

Thanks for being such a great city. Thanks for having so many free activities, great food, and so much to do. Thanks, most especially for hinting that spring is around the corner with cherry blossoms and warm days.

yours for now,

M

PS I'll forgive you for snowing tomorrow, but only if you promise to forget that silly business from now on.

Dear girls in my office,

I love that we spend our time discussing if the IT guy is dateable and which one of us could date him. Thanks for making work so much fun.

sincerely,

M

Dear Foggy Bottom,

First off, thanks for having such an amazing name. Each time I here it ringing from the intercom on the metro I smile to myself. That's is my stop. Thanks for being home to work and school and making my life so convenient. I love you and all your quirks like the man who smokes his cigarette in the same all red outfit everyday or the kid who belts songs right outside the metro with no shame.

heart,

M 

Dear ladies of the Mormon Mansion,

I love that you're always up for an adventure and that we get called the pack of gazelles. I love that we cook brownies at midnight and purchased three different kinds of ice cream to go with them. I love that we can laugh and cry together. And mostly I love that anytime someone has an event we are all there, giving our opinions on clothes, curling hair last minute, grabbing purses, lending shoes. The six of us make great team.

xoxo,
M

absent

I've been absent around these here parts for quite a while.

I've been getting my feet on the ground, settling in, learning to breathe somewhere new, spending time with roommates, friends, and family, taking finals, finishing internships, working, walking, laughing, crying, and oh yeah, learning.

For a while writing seemed like one step I couldn't take. My journal is despairingly sparse. My agenda has even lagged in the amount of lists and notes.

But over the last few days it just seems like it's time.

So here I am. Starting to write.

the facts were these

13 days 4 hours 39 minutes and 51 seconds ago I moved to Washington, DC.


In some ways those days, hours, minutes, and seconds seem like an eternity and in others it seems like I landed here a second ago. Either way, guess what? I'm learning to really like it here.

Some great things I've come to love so far about the District (as a native, I'm told, would say):

• so. many. people. All kinds of people. I see men and women in uniform, monks, people speaking German, French, Korean, people that look like they are important, people that rap to themselves (or to the world rather) as they walk down the street. Lots of really great people.
• food. Oh how I am so excited about the food. Someone recently asked me what I'm most excited for in DC and that was honestly my first thought: really great food. I've already been to Trader Joes and Whole Foods and started scheming about things to make. I've started a restaurant list of places to hit up once I have a (somewhat) disposable income again.
• possibility. There is such possibility in this city. So many amazing places are found here and as a result there is so much opportunity in the air.
• free museums. oh how I love them! I feel that I could spend a whole day in just one exhibit. I can't wait to slowly eat my way through each of them.
•  the way people walk and drive. I'm still a little (or a lot) scared of the driving part, but I love that when, as a driver or pedestrian, you see an opportunity to go, you always take it. It keeps things interesting and fast paced. I like it.

M

move.

three days ago I shut the door of the car, wiped the tears from my eyes, and headed east.

Everyone (justifiably) keeps asking me how I feel about THE BIG MOVE. Nervous? Scared? Excited? All of it? And truth be told, I don't really feel much of anything because the realness hasn't settled in yet. I keep thinking things like "when we drive back west we should stop at that restaurant" or "when I get back to Provo I'll have that thing I left in the fridge" oh yeah, not going to happen.

Although it still feels surreal, the universe seems to be telling me its time for this chapter to end. Everything from world events to my moisturizer running out tells me that it's time to go. The Olympics ended on Sunday--just in time for me to watch the closing ceremonies before jumping in the car the next day. All my roommates & I were moving out to head different directions. As we past into Missouri, we saw the hint of fall on trees with tinges of red and yellow leaves and lower temperatures. I spent last week helping my mom paint my childhood room from the oh so fashionable light pink to a much more sophisticated gray.

Amongst the endings, however, there are also signs of new beginnings. I thought painting my room would make me sad, but really it made me happy. Happy it has a new life, a new fresh start. Darling, sweet Finn was born into the world, a new bright light in all of our eyes. Just thinking about leaving him and his family still makes me cry.

In my life there is so much that is ending. So much that has already ended. But, as I will keep having to remind myself over the next couple months when the loneliness and unfamiliarity settles like a rain cloud over my head, there is so much beginning. Beginning means potential, excitement, hope, newness, rebirth, dreams, laughter, growth, life.

move. that's what life is all about.