Everyone (justifiably) keeps asking me how I feel about THE BIG MOVE. Nervous? Scared? Excited? All of it? And truth be told, I don't really feel much of anything because the realness hasn't settled in yet. I keep thinking things like "when we drive back west we should stop at that restaurant" or "when I get back to Provo I'll have that thing I left in the fridge" oh yeah, not going to happen.
Although it still feels surreal, the universe seems to be telling me its time for this chapter to end. Everything from world events to my moisturizer running out tells me that it's time to go. The Olympics ended on Sunday--just in time for me to watch the closing ceremonies before jumping in the car the next day. All my roommates & I were moving out to head different directions. As we past into Missouri, we saw the hint of fall on trees with tinges of red and yellow leaves and lower temperatures. I spent last week helping my mom paint my childhood room from the oh so fashionable light pink to a much more sophisticated gray.
Amongst the endings, however, there are also signs of new beginnings. I thought painting my room would make me sad, but really it made me happy. Happy it has a new life, a new fresh start. Darling, sweet Finn was born into the world, a new bright light in all of our eyes. Just thinking about leaving him and his family still makes me cry.
In my life there is so much that is ending. So much that has already ended. But, as I will keep having to remind myself over the next couple months when the loneliness and unfamiliarity settles like a rain cloud over my head, there is so much beginning. Beginning means potential, excitement, hope, newness, rebirth, dreams, laughter, growth, life.
move. that's what life is all about.
2 comments:
becca told me youre moving out here! where are you living and what ward are you in?
You+writing+me=love. Great post. There is something so refreshing about doing terrifyingly new and wonderful things. Well said.
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